Another Sunday..

I seem to only write blogs on sunday mornings. I guess because that is when I am at work and have a computer in front of me with few distractions. 10 days til my birthday! I don't know if I should be excited or not. 24...that kinda sucks. I was ok with being 23, but now being 24, that means I am close to 25 and 25 is close to 30. When I look back and think about what I have accomplished, I feel like a loser. I haven't done much. I mean...i've done quite a few cool things in my life, but nothing that has impacted what I am going to do with my future. Shouldn't a 24-year-old know what they want to be when they grow up? They ARE grown up, so yeah, they should have an idea. I don't. I mean...I know what I would be happy doing. But those are just fantasies. I would LOVE to move to LA and be a PA on a show and maybe eventually a television writer. I don't have the required education. I also don't have the money. You need to have money to live in LA. PA jobs don't pay a lot at all. Plus, I'd need to be able to afford a place to live before going out there and I can't. I HATE going out there and seeing girls that are dumb as doorknobs getting awesome jobs because they have a "connection." That really blows. I could do it, I know I could. I could handle a job like that easily, I could probably do it a lot better than them and I would love it. I just..i'm 2000 miles away. It's not possible. Fuck, I would even be a receptionist out there. Anything in the entertainment business. TV preferably. It's not gonna happen. I have my entire family here and they would be devestated if I moved that far away. When I went to school in Iowa my mom could barely handle it and that was just a 3.5 hour drive. I am close with my family, it would be difficult. I guess if I had someone to go out there with, maybe I could try. But i'd be all alone. That scares the crap out of me.

So yeah, 24. I'll be 24 on the 24th. Golden birthday..only happens once in your life. I am doing nothing to celebrate it. This year is actually really pathetic. I have ZERO dollars so I can't do anything. My family has no money, so they can't get me anything great. Jackie is really the only person I hang out with and she is busy all the time. It's going to be a shitty, lonely birthday. I DID order myself a birthday present. My mom paid for half of it and she is going to pay me back for the rest when she gets paid again. It's my gift from the family. A brand new DC Rob Dyrdek hoodie. Haha. And I'm totally excited about it! How sad is it that all I get for my birthday is a brand new hoodie. Don't get me wrong, I don't need extravagant gifts. It's just weird...I don't think the money situation has EVER been this bad. Where I have to get my own present and my mom will pay me back. I didn't even have the money to do it, I just got it anyways so I would be happy. On the 19th Tmobile is taking my phone bill out and that will leave me completely fucked.

Past birthdays have been pretty cool. I had friends, haha. Not quality friends, but at least I had people who would use my birthday as an excuse to party. There would be cake and the occasional gift card. And for my 18th birthday, my mom took me to LA. That was pretty awesome. I love LA. If I could be anywhere on my birthday, that's where I'd want to be. Well..if I could be ANYWHERE I would probably choose somewhere tropical and expensive, but I mean realistically it would be LA. I really can't see myself ever affording a lavish tropical vacation.

So yeah, Happy Birthday to me. :/

I DO have the Rob and Big season 3 DVD due to arrive at my house any day now. The only reason I was able to afford it was because I used swagbucks so much I was able to get $15 in amazon gift cards and it was only like $10 more. I'm excited about that. I wonder when Fantasy Factory season 2 is coming out on DVD? THAT will make me happy.

Alright, I don't think I have much more to talk about...nothing that I can get into and still be able to finish by the time I have to leave work, haha.